The "R" Word ~ Evolving Language and Why it Matters

Certainly you've noticed it too. What was once off-limits is back on the table. Suddenly used so widely and so casually as to make you feel like you're delusional for feeling any sort of way about it. It isn't just showing up throughout social media every single day. It is also showing up in face to face conversations from people I thought would have had a little more ____________________ (awareness, sense, courtesy, compassion, decency, etc.) to not use that word, especially around me. No, wait. Let's call it what it is. It isn't just a word. It's a slur.

The "R" word.

There are people who think they are so funny or so clever when they take this slur and create a new insult out of it. I'm sure you've seen or heard examples, and I don't care to repeat them here. I find all variations of the slur offensive.

But why? Why does this slur feel like a gut punch? Because our language and the words we choose to speak reveal our views of the world and our attitudes toward the people in it. When you use the r-slur to insult your buddy or to complain about something that happened at work, whether you realize it or not, you're telling me exactly what you think about people with intellectual disabilities.

Surprised? Pause and ponder that for a moment. If it never occurred to you that the r-slur is a shocking gut punch to people with intellectual disabilities and those who care deeply about their rights and well-being, think about what you've inadvertently been communicating. I am going to assume the readers of this post are open to examining the ways in which ableism may show up. Your language is one way.

As Rosa Marcellino's brother Nick put it, "When you think about it, what you call people is how you treat people." When President Obama signed Rosa's Law, he quoted Rosa's brother Nick and added, "If we change the words, maybe it will be the start of a new attitude toward people with disabilities.”

In 2010, Rosa Marcellino (a young girl with Down Syndrome) and her family advocated for the removal of the r-word from federal documents. On Oct. 5, 2010 President Obama signed Rosa's Law.

I planned to write a little bit about the evolution of this slur, but everyone knows that it was previously used as a medical term. Everyone knows that it morphed into an insult. Everyone knew to stop using it because it is harmful to an entire group of vulnerable people. And now somehow everyone has forgotten???

I reject that. People haven't forgotten. Unfortunately, we have "leaders" who model speech that is gross, harmful, indecent, non-sensical, and just plain false as acceptable, desirable even. I think many people enjoy gut punching others. The cruelty is the point, right??? I hope readers of this post will help me apply the brakes and reverse this trend. We care for each other. That's it.

If you have begun using this slur, I want to request that you stop. It isn't funny. You aren't being clever. Strike it from your vocabulary and substitute a word that doesn't put down an entire group of people. Our words matter.